I don’t know what holds you captive right now, but have you found yourself at a place in your life and wonder, “How did I get here?” or “What just happened?” I have multiple times. Actually, too many times to count. I felt powerless to change what was happening to me. But God reminded me about something very important.
I recently found myself, again, in a place where even though I absolutely tried EVERYTHING I could to bring peace to a situation, I just could not do one more thing. God knows the details. It was clear that it was time to set some boundaries and make some very hard choices to put my life back in a place where I did not have to feel like I was walking on eggshells.
This meant the end of many things I held dear, but through it all God opened my heart so I could hear Him. He led me where He wanted me to be. Where I am undistracted. Where I live in peace. Where I am free to be who He created me to be.
Don’t think I have taken any of this lightly. My heart hurts for all that was lost, the past joys and the future dreams. It is not what I had planned. The grieving of it all is a process. Some days I’m fine, and other days my mind is a tangle of webs. Grief is unpredictable and feelings must be felt or it doesn’t get better. It has been heart-wrenching, yet freeing at the same time.
I refocused my view so that I could see God, instead of dwelling on my feelings, He has blessed my decisions in tremendous ways. He has answered prayers that I had not even voiced. Oh how I claim Romans 8:26 which says, … the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” When we reach out to God in humbleness, He shows up big time and sets our lives back on a path that glorifies Him.
Recently I read Exodus 6:1-8 where Moses questions God about WHY he had allowed so much trouble to come to His people and had not rescued them. As I read, the phrase, “…because of My mighty hand…” stuck out to me. I was drawn back to a place where I know it was God’s hand that has led me clearly to where I am now. God clearly told Moses that He would take care of His people. He heard all of their groanings, but maybe they weren’t ready to accept what God was going to do. He says these phrases, “I am the Lord and I will bring you out from under the yoke…” and “…I will free you from being slaves to them…”, and finally, “I will redeem you with an outstretched arm…” All promises from our God who is the same now as He was then.
Just as He met the Israelites’ needs whether they obeyed or complained, God continually meets my needs. He waited until I finally gave up my strivings to set His plan in place. He brought me out, even though the place where He found me was of my own choices. God let me make my own choices, and then He STILL welcomed me back with grace and mercy. He freed me from being enslaved to control and fear. HE redeemed me with an outstretched arm. HE gets all the glory. HE does the hard work. I needed to lay down my will so I could see how He has the best plans. God is gracious and faithful when I am not. He alone gets the glory for all He is accomplishing in my life and He will do the same for you. Perhaps it’s time to stop striving and lay it down to see God do immeasurably more than you can envision right now.
Candi,
I can so appreciate this! I too, have been walking down a path of unexpected circumstances. But God… That is the thing that I repeat daily. God has been faithful to hold me when I cry, carry me when I am weak and guide me when I walk. One step at time. Bless you for sharing.
Hi Tammy! Thank you for reading. I appreciate your reflection too. It just reminds me that we are not alone, ever. And Yes taking one step at a time is perfect. I try to take one thing at a time, like a friend told me she does. Not one day, but one thing. God bless you! I hope to see you the next time I see the Greens.
Such VULNERABILITY! I can relate as i learn to adjust in my own life patH and trust our lord to Take me where only he can. Thank you for sharing your heart, candi.
Thanks for reading Mandy! It’s been a journey and even though life hurts a lot sometimes, God has a way of making us more like Him on the other side.